You want a perfect and infinite happiness? Follow Jesus.

I am writing to break down the solid thoughts nestling on my mind. I have therefore relocates new words and ideas which were not beneficial in my daily life. I learn to be deaf on negative thoughts and become vigilant to what God’s really wants me to be and grow on the mainstream of His will.
I thought my life is just a simple deja vu of people’s life. Seems like nothing’s special. Everything is just a normal plain-cold-water in the morning. But since I was awaken with the truth and follow Jesus, my life was even rounded with amazing events. A little did I know that my life is a complete blessing. I learned to value even more the family and friends that were connected on my strings. I learned to love and appreciates happiness on its simplest form without any mathematical and survey calculation. I learned to live with contentment and laugh a little bit louder than usual. I learned to smile as if frowning doesn’t exist. Wooaah! It is just so incredible that from being in a darkest hour of my life, I have seen a light trails and never hesitate to follow its way. A big leap of faith is what my life is into now. I learned to overcome disappointments and reprimand myself that the world is not as perfect and utopian as I vision it before. The Lord let me realize that the world will never be the source of happiness, it is you and the people around you that contributes to the bank account of happiness and gladness here on earth. Material things, high-paying jobs, new cars, new relationships, overflowing closets, high ends technology and even your grades are not the pivotal factors of achieving pure and authentic happiness. I will tell you now, it is your relationship with Jesus Christ. Perhaps, it will make you laugh on the corner sides of your brain if you hear this thought. That’s exactly what I feel when I hear someone shared a story about Jesus. I laugh and become sarcastic. How can I trust my life to someone I didn’t know if He is truly existing or not? How can I surrender my life to someone I’m not sure if He truly hears my cry?  Then, from sarcastic thoughts, my mind was refrained and became curious to know Jesus. I want to feel that there is somebody who is present most specifically on my downfall. I want to believe that I have a friend who will never take off my hand and will never let me go through summer and storms. I admit, I was so stubborn on my teenage years, there comes to the point I do not want to be with anyone. I was alone by then. Rejecting social interactions and living on my own created tiny box. I am afraid of showing-off and making an initial step to reach for others.  There comes a moment I couldn’t speak and no figurative words could explain what is inside of me. I feel the emptiness in my heart as if there’s no life inside it. It is beating yet the flow of life is disintegrated. The numbness of my life is still there as if I was put inside a hole of my own reserve adversity. I don’t know how to get up and find the meaning and purpose of my life. During those moments, I smile and laugh…but these were all artificial…I can sense that. Not until my brain and heart can no longer take this shallowness inside of me. I know there is something missing and from that day, I searched my heart what it really needs. It never fails to answer me…it is the love from God above. I admit, there really comes a time I just rely on my own decision and knowledge using my human brain. Every time I encounter disappointments and rejection, it draws me backwards. But from that time I feed myself with the presence of the Lord…the sky seems as crystal clear. All I can see is the hope that tomorrow promises to unravel. I know as a human with own established knowledge and worldly education achieved during our stay in school premises and the worldly facts … believing in God is not as easy as believing that an ice cream is cold while inside the fridge.  It takes time. It takes your faith. It takes your whole trust. Sometimes you need to take risk and find yourself hanging on a cliff. Surrendering your treasure here on earth and on the coming days, the Lord God will replace it with the golden tiara. It takes a brave heart to get-off from the bus doodled with the worldly desires. But, I am telling you. All your works will be paid off. We may encounter downfall sometimes but always trust in the Lord’s will. His plan is greater than our plans. He has created our own safe haven on heaven.  We shall rejoice and take-off all those unnecessary veins growing in our life. He is greater than any storms. Don’t worry. Just listen to Him and He will not forsake you. That’s how my life is driven by Jesus. I believe I am not that perfect child He has, but slowly He trims all the things that prevent me from following Him.  And that’s how the Lord showed His love. He is the creator of perfect and infinite happiness.

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